January 14, 2014
A year ago, I had just celebrated my thirtieth birthday. Although, I had not really celebrated. I could hardly make plans when I was as pregnant as I was; due or overdue depending on who was asked. I had hoped you were born on my birthday but I knew, from getting to know you throughout the pregnancy, that you had your own plans. You were always playful. It was plain to see that you were marching to the beat of your own drum and enjoying it. Uta explained that you, like most children, would make decisions we disapproved of, such as positioning breach in those late weeks of the pregnancy, but in the end you would make the right call.
Both on Saturday and Sunday morning, we slept in. I mean that Finlay stayed in bed late and did not wake us. It was a welcome reprieve and when, on Sunday after my pre-natal yoga class, I had my strongest contraction yet I knew I was finally ready. All that was left was to wash the floors. I went home and did just that; I scrubbed them on my hands and knees to encourage labour. I took the cupcakes I baked for your birthday, prematurely, out of the freezer and iced them. I knew you were finally coming.
The cupcakes were beautiful. Them were vanilla and raspberry butter-cream frosting with raspberries decorating the tops (all vegan, of course). Once they were displayed in the cake dome I decided to get some rest. The contractions were not steady, or even very strong any longer, but I was sure that tomorrow would be your birthday but I had no idea how soon you would come!
At midnight, I woke up in mid-contraction; they kind they say you cannot speak through when having. I looked at my watch when the next one began and then woke Tyler and told him to call the midwife and doula. Contractions were only two minutes apart. He said "Are you sure. Maybe we should wait." After I had made it through the next wave I insisted he called the team and filled the tub.
We were out of hot water. After the dishwasher and the washing machine and hot showers and Fin's bath...
I laboured in the kitchen while your daddy boiled our biggest pots full of water and carried them to the half-filled tub. My contractions were so close together that he could hardly get to the bedroom and back before the next one began and I needed him.
Tanesha arrived. She was surprised by how far along I was. So was I.
Uta arrived. 8cms. Into the tub.
The tub was lukewarm but immediately soothing.
The entire time I was so lucid. Inbetween waves I could communicate and concentrate and participate as though I was not in labour. I didn't see the transition coming because I was so calm.
I was actually comfortable.
Uta says she'll call the second midwife because you are on your way. I felt it was time to push. Tanesha says "Then push."
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Uta leaving the room. She was on the phone with the other midwife who is supposed to be there when the baby comes. But the baby is coming. One push and here it comes.
"No! Uta!" I try to speak but it is difficult. "The baby!"
No time for phone calls or second midwives. No time for gloves.
"Take your baby, Lyndze." I hear Uta say. I look and see you, still under the water, and I gently, and slowly, bring you up to my chest. It was 2:37am.
You wiggle and kick. You gargle and cry. Both of your eyes are wide and starring right at me. Your expression is a mix of "What did you expect?" and "So we meet again."
I could tell that you knew exactly who I was.
Soon you were asleep. We were warm and dry in bed. Tyler and I couldn't sleep, we were too excited and happy, so we just talked about the whirl-wind of events and watched you lay between us, breathing, making little grunts and coos, small arm movements, stretches and kicks just like in the womb.
Because you were born so early in the morning, we had the rest of the day to adore and cuddle you. It was one of my favourite days.
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I wanted to take the time to document Shay's birthday story before it faded from my memory. I waited until now as, on the anniversary of that day, I seem to be thinking about and remembering it all more.
