Thoughts

November 17, 2014

Thoughts.

We are filled with them.

Sometimes we are distracted by the "should be's": I should be reading for that class; I should be cleaning the kitchen; I should be finishing that project.

We are overwhelmed.

Sometimes we are consumed by the "if only's": If I only had x, I would be better off; if only I got x done, I would feel as though I completed something; if only I was x, I would be a good parent/partner/worker.

We are confused.

Tyler and I have, as of late, become more conscious of these thoughts.  It is being conscious of something that brings us the motivation to act, mobilize, and uncover some 'untested feasibility'.

Our absence from the blog has been due to our presence in our lives.

We have realized, that when we reflect on our present, and we live our moments rather than worrying about what should or could be, we see what we have and how wonderful it really it.  Our lives, marriage, kids, home, work/school, friends, and all that we do, is happening right now; we stopped waiting for it and we are trying to live it.

My latest thoughts about the kids:

- Finlay is growing and changing so quickly!  He is a little boy (he has decided, what that means is still to be determined).  He goes to school.  He cuts veggies for the soup with a real knife.  He explains things to the toddler... and the cat.  He tells stories.  He invents games.  He has BIG feelings.

- I love, love, love the way Seamus insists on sitting on the lap of whomever is reading a book.  Sometime, if I am laying down on the rug to read, he tries to sit on my chest.

- I love the smell of Shay's little head, even though he has left that baby smell behind.  He is a toddler now.

- I think it is so interesting that both Shay and Fin are trying the same physical experiments, such as standing on a bucket in the slippery tub.  Where Fin is cautious and careful, Shay is curious and adventurous.

- Fin is picking up new habits and ideas from school, and this is really neat to see.  He says, "no, thank you" when he no longer wants a tickle.

- Shay has taken up biting or hitting Fin whenever he feels the need to defend himself.  I don't blame him and it is difficult to intervene and discuss this behaviour when I can't stop smiling at him.

- When we ask Shay to STOP playing the toilet/biting his brother/standing on the dishwasher door, he says, in an exasperated tone, "okay" and slumps his shoulder and walks away with a silly pout that is all for show because he is beaming and smiling behind the act.

- Shay is talking.  Lots of new works all of the time.  He like to say "Help Mommy/Daddy", "Walk", and "Wheel, wheel".

- Shay has just started to say is name.  The first time he tried it, he was surprised he could do it.  Then he got excited and started saying "Shay-Shay, YAY!  Shay-Shay, YAY!" while throwing his arms up to cheer.

- When Shay laughs, you can see all of his little teeth.

- It amazing me that Fin can dress himself - after years of dressing and undressing him every day, sometimes a few times in one day, he can pick out his cloths and put them on.  He strips down and gets into and out of bath, as well.  This is huge.

- Fin seeks his independence - he wants to do up his own coat - but he also still loves to be my baby (ah-goo!).

- Fin is a story-teller.  He is also fascinated by story-telling.  He gravitates to stories heavy with politics.

- They play together - they fight too!  Sometimes I am referee.

We will be adding some pictures, and perhaps some words, about the last few months.  Check back, and back, if you please.